Late Night Discoveries and a Story

twitter is a small world. finding people isnt that difficult. finding people you having heard of or seen in a while isnt difficult. finding out that those people have a blog isnt difficult. finding out that person is totally different from the last time you remembered seeing them is...kinda weird. in a good way.

as i was reading said blog, they totally wrote things that i never knew they can write. yeah yeah times change, people change but sometimes its hard to digest that. they used their blog as like a place to totally vent in a way where...well i cant totally explain it. i never knew that someone who was younger than me can talk about stuff in a mature manner..unlike this weird blog where its pure randomness.

i was passing by the older posts and im guessing that the blogger (im not gunna name who it is) now goes to a catholic high school..is a freshman..is working on a relationship with a guy that isnt really working out (?)..and wears a purity ring.

yeah, that caught my eye. and the fact that it was in 14 point font, bolded and in silver. there's a point to this entry and its coming up.

i bet some people dont think i would be the type of person wearing a purity cuz when you first met me and started making dirty jokes, i made it dirty-er. dont deny, you know you were made fun of by me! reason for that: i grew up totally different than everyone around me. i can never say i had a best friend from kindergarden that i can tell anything that's awkward to them and be totally comfortable about it. i can never say "oh i know how you feel" because sometimes, if not most times, i really dont. i can never say i wasnt tempted.

me? tempted? whether you believe it or not, its happened in the past. i try not to bring up the past but its something relavant to what im getting at. temptation is everywhere, espeically in high school. but temptation in middle school? even end of elementary school?

6th grade kinda did it for me. public school ruin minds. trust me. private schools may be gay cuz its small, you wear uniforms, the education is hard but you're better there than some other schools. shifting from a public school, to a christian middle school, to a catholic high school kinda made it difficult for me to actually find God. i had all these questions that i didnt think would be answered.

most of them involved temptation. i will admit this. first ever. most of my relationships i've been in were mostly physical (not like "I WANNA KICK YOUR ASS") not that kind. catch my drift cuz im not going in detail about that. i think the reason that it was like that is cuz of me. yeah..elementary school tends to stay in your mind. "whatever you do now changes everything you do later" is what my science teacher use to lecture us everyday. elementary school changed how i look at a relationship i have with another guy.

this is why i wear a purity ring. sure you can say to yourself "i'll just wait til marriage". i need a little reminder and its that silver Tiffany band on my ring finger. i want to get rid of what happened in the past. i dont want to think of every relationship as just something physical. i want to actually have a relationship where there physicality isnt as important as the effort of (insert L word) put into it. thats all on me.

tell me if you got lost. cuz i can understand if you did. its close to 1 in the morning for me.

one last thing for me to say..

LOVE(:

-Lovebug

"It doesn't matter if he world is pulling you down; With Christ you have everything." - Nicholas Jerry Jonas